Tired and soon to be more tired.

It's late, I'm tired and this week looks crazy long right now. But I'm so thankful for so many things.

Let's start here:

I'm thankful for ...

1. Finding out that something isn't nearly as bad as you thought. Since my formative years in Sdale and the trips past Tacoma, I have associated Tacoma with "ghetto-ness", smelliness (the aroma of Tacoma), suicide, and all-around darkness. Thanks to our friends Casey and Caitlin, Ryan and I have been enlightened to the great water-front, pretty houses, and surprisingly bustling downtown Tacoma has to offer. Follow that up with 10 rounds of Bananagrams and lots of guacamole, you have one great day. (I promise Skirst, it's not that bad!)

2. Being able to walk to the grocery store when we need eggs for cookies.

3. Sleeping in on Sundays! Always a great way to start a day.

4. Picking out the color of our house: dark grey, white trim, black shutters, and a red door!

5. Refreshing conversations about ideals and dreams.

Tomorrow begins my last week of exercise and comfort for a while, if you're interested in doing something fun, active, and outside - call me!

xo, Meg

Long, but good days.

Today was a long day for Ryan and me, separately we both had long, productive days. Fortunately, we are not cranky, something that usually accompanies such days.

I found many things to be thankful for today, but here are the 5 I remember most clearly:

1. Pear & Apple Cobbler. Off the cuff and oh so yummy.

2. New flowers about our house. Many rooms now have punches of red/orange lilies.

3. Having the windows open and getting a great cross-breeze! (Not to mention, it was 80+ degrees! Weeee!)

4. A good, productive day that helped me feel more prepared for surgery.

5. I have the GAD protein marker! To some this may seem trivial, but to me it is important. This little marker on my cells means I can take part in a research study about Type 1 Diabetes that may help me and will hopefully help others catch (or at least extend the "honeymoon phase") this disease early.


**Please excuse the photos, our camera batteries died so these are from my phone.


xo, Meg

Peace.

PS- Surgery update: My surgery is still scheduled for the 8th of June, but I will be admitted on June 7th because I have to be on a 3 day clear liquid diet and it's all complicated by the diabetes stuff. Then I will be gone for a few weeks, Ry might update this for me though. We'll see.

Blerg.

Today I worked so hard that I didn't remove my exercise clothes from this morning and shower until 6 pm. I actually didn't even know what time it was until my stomach started growling so loud it scared me. So, while productive, today was a very boring day.

Here are my thankfuls:

1. Strong black tea.
2. Great literature and a great way to recycle (check out swaptree.com).
3. Birthday presents. I am trying to make more presents an recycle/reuse/upcycle things to make thoughtful gifts and today I finished 3 people's gifts.
4. I found the coolest glasses (the kind you drink from, not look through) ever for when we move. I'm not going to tell you where I found them or what they look like, I don't want you stealing them.
5. I'm one day closer to being free of these awful bladder spasms that sometimes make me crawl under my desk and rock back and forth. (13 days until my surgery. A fact I just realized today, maybe the reason I was in hyper drive all day. Also, 13 is my favorite number.)

(Stepping onto soap box.)

Ahem, here is an interesting read I came across this evening:
http://sixuntilme.com/blog2/2009/05/sotomayor_and_diabetes_get_all.html.

The writer discusses the sad things being said about judge Sotomayor nominated by President Obama. Think what you will about her qualifications or views, but don't you dare say that her diabetes should be a reason she can't serve. It's sad to think that people should put limitations on someone because of their malfunctioning pancreas. I refuse to allow this disease to hold me back and admire judge Sotomayor for getting this far (she's had Type 1 since she was 8). If she is chosen it would be a great example for the children living with this disease of what they can do.

(Stepping down from soap box. Walking away.)

Quote of the day (this may become a new thing, we'll see):

"Never underestimate the ability of a small group of committed individuals to change the world."

-Margaret Mead, 1901-1978, Anthropologist

xo, Meg

PS- You can now view my photo albums here.

Hello

Hi there. Want to know what I am thankful for today? Well, it's your lucky day - here are 5 thankfuls:

1. Sleeping in. Today we were able to sleep in and it was just great.
2. A day in the sun. I am thankful that today was another sunny day and I stood in the sun for most of the day.
3. IKEA. Ryan and I walked through IKEA today, speculating on what we will want when we move into our home. It was great fun.
4. A fresh bag of Skittles, waiting to save me from my low blood sugars (along with juice boxes for when I can't chew and glucose tablets for when I feel guilty about the calories in the Skittles.)
5. A future to look forward to. I am getting excited to get a move on with my goals and dreams when I finish recovering from the upcoming surgery. While I have been steadily working towards them, I can pick up the speed with a healthy body and mind free of worry and stress (at least the surgery related kind).


I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but the heart to conquer it."

-Rabindranath Tagore

xo, Meg

Hole in One!

Random pictures first and foremost:

Thankful for:

1. A three day weekend with Ryan! With 2 whole days left.

2. Putt-putt. I came in last, but got a hole in one! Congrats to Kent on winning at a 19 under par.

3. My espresso machine. It is still treating me (and Ryan) well, all while helping me meet my daily calcium/Vitamin A/dairy needs.

4. Beautiful weather in the forecast for the forseeable future. This means I wake up early, go to bed late, and do as much as possible. I'm still trying to fit as much in as possible before surgery and the weather is in on my plans.

5. My average blood sugar today was 97.67. That's great, even for a non-diabetic.

xo, Meg

Unstoppably tired.

This is going to be short and sweet. Too tired to write much.

Thankfuls du jour:

1. Awkward moments that make life worth the living (sorry Laur).
2. Great conversations about nothing in particular.
3. Sunshine on my shoulders, makes me happy. (I stole that from John Denver. And, yes, I had his tape.)
4. Adventure. Sometimes secret adventures by yourself make life seem more thrilling (it wasn't really that adventurous.)
5. Parentheses. (I use them a lot. (See?))

I'm out like a trout in a drought. Night.

xo, Meg

The Persistent Patient, but Never Patient.*

*Legal Notice: If I ever write a book, this might be the title. You can't have it. It's mine.

Warning, I am long-winded this evening.

Now that that's all cleared up, here's a story for you:

Over the past few days I have noticed my hair has been shedding more than usual and more than shedding. More like falling out. On average you lose about 50-100 hairs a day, I think I have been losing hundreds (more like bazbillions) of hairs a day. I thought I was just being paranoid, but this morning when I looked at my pillow and had a friend mention my hair looked thinner - I knew it, I'm losing my hair. Luckily for me I have been cursed with unmanageably thick hair and losing thousands of hairs would probably leave me with billions, but I leave a trail of the evidence wherever I go as evidenced by my black shirt, car seats, couch, babies that I hold, etc. Obviously, I assume I am going bald and call my Diabetes Repair Team (DRT). The Nurse from the DRT said she didn't think it was related to the diabetes but that she would talk with doc and get back to me. Great, if it's not diabetes - it's something else. Not another diagnosis, please. The DRT calls back - it is the diabetes (something about being in severe ketoacidosis and almost dying, blah, blah). So, yay! It's not a new diagnosis, but I'm still losing my hair and will continue to do so for a while. Hopefully it will stabilize and grow back in the next few months. If not, more testing for thyroid or other autoimmune disorders will be in order. Let's hope that doesn't happen. Here's to my hair - the bane of my existence that I couldn't live without (well, technically I could live, but you know what I mean).

Now that I am not severely depressed by another diagnosis, I can find things to be thankful for.

1. Cupcakes! In order to celebrate the fact that I am losing my hair, we got wonderful Berry Chantilly Cupcakes from Whole Foods. (*Side note: If you shop at Whole Foods and bring your own bags they will give a donation to the American Diabetes Assoc.) They were wonderful and as icing on the cake (haha) I kept by B.G. controlled.

2. A book about Type 1. After standing in the health sections of 3 different book stores looking for a book about Type 1 Diabetes, I finally found one. It jumped out at me right as I started to tear up because of the titles of all the books. Things like: Get Rid of Your Diabetes in 21 Days, There is a Cure for Diabetes, The Diabetes Cure, The 30 Day Diabetes Miracle, Reversing Diabetes, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad these books exist for those with Type 2, but there isn't a cure for me (yet), nor is there a miracle fix. I wish this was something I could eat better and exercise more to get rid of. It was so frustrating to see all these books, but nothing to help me. But I found a book and I am so thankful for the information I am getting from it. I hope to learn all I can so that I don't get blindsided by any more side-effects/complications. (Here's something I have already learned: Sweden has the highest incidence of Type 1 and I'm part Swedish.)

3. A new journal/doodle/list book and new sunglasses!

4. Cutest nephew ever:

5. My DRT. The previously mentioned Diabetes Repair Team is awesome. They are available to me 24/7 and they call back with thorough answers very quickly. They are sweet and make sure I know there aren't any silly questions and that my hair falling out is actually something to call about. And they make me more confident in caring for this body of mine. A million thanks to them. And all of you, because like it or not you are part of my DRT too.

xo, Meg

Beautiful Day.

Today was just peachy. And I'm not even being sarcastic.

I finished every single thing on my "To-Do List." I'm not sure how long it has been since I finished everything on my list without crossing through something with an arrow pointing to the next day. I got my Vitamin D, plus a little extra for a rainy day. I got to go on a nice long walk with my love. We dropped off presents/top-secret packages at 2 friends houses. I ate smoked salmon spread. I even had time to daydream about what I'm going to do after my surgery when I am more comfortable and threw in a few thoughts about teaching my future children words. On top of all of these things, there are 5 things I am really thankful for today:

1. The flowers on my coffee table. I scored these lovely gals for a mere $3.00 and they just keep getting more beautiful everyday. Plus, they are in my favorite vase.

2. $5 off of a $25 purchase at Top Foods. I love a good deal and I love food - so it was a great day.

3. Chocolate crinkle cookies. These cookies are de(r)licious! Yum. Something like a mini brownie with crunch all the way around and beautiful cracked tops with powdered sugar dresses. Oh, and in case you were worried, there are only 11 grams of carbs and 100 calories for

4. New running shoes. You know how I mentioned a while back about how Ryan has great taste and always buys me things that turn out to be my favorite items? Well, he strikes again. Great running shoes that make me feel snazzy and fit. My old ones have seen much better days and have been stretched out by my fat feet.

5. Nutritional facts. They are so fun and I have so much more respect for my body and others.

Good night. (Speaking of "good night", have you ever read "Goodnight, Mr. Tom"? Well, you should - it'll make you cry.)

xo, Meg

Productivity is on the rise.

Hello there!

Today was a very productive day as I start to crack down on my responsibilities before my surgery. I want to get as much done now as possible so I can focus on my health and recuperation during the weeks following the slice and dice.

Here are the things I am particularly thankful for today:

1. Getting things done. Laundry, dishes, clean bathrooms, read, study, and work. Ahhh. Such a nice feeling.

2. Revamp and Relaunch. Lauren and I are currently working to revamp and relaunch our Zimbags store. We have some new products in the work, we are updating the website, and looking for new venues to sell. I will keep you posted, but I can promise it will be worth the wait. (Keep up with the changes and news at our Zimblog.)

3. New pictures of my nephew. Dear goodness, he's cute! Jessica, I think he looks an awful lot like you (but I see Andy in there too).

4. Sadie! I am so excited she is coming back to the US and thankful for the other things that she wrote that I am not sure I am supposed to share yet.

5. Comfortable things. There are not very many comfortable things in my life between the bladder stuff and finger pricks and shots and lows, so I have decided to find comfort where I can. That includes wearing what I want, when I want. If I want to wear Crocs with sweatpants - so be it. If I feel like snuggling under my quilt under my desk - I'll be there. If I want to sip coffee while stretching - I will. I am thankful I can find comfortable things and enjoy them.

I am going to go join my snoring husband and warm puppies....

xo, Meg

4 days - Yikes!

I guess it's been 4 days since I posted thankfuls. I will give 10 thankfuls to make up for my time away.

1. A day at the beach. My surgery is quickly approaching and I am trying to squeeze all my favorite summer time activities into these next few weeks. My all time favorite summer activity? The beach. In specific, Pacific Beach. I got to go with 3 of my favorite people too, which made it even better. Ryan, Lauren, Emi, and I drove to the beach got milkshakes and lazed around for a couple hours. It was heaven.

2. For our anniversary, I made Ryan a paperchain that counts down until November 1st, the month we move into our new home. It started with 170 chains, now it has 168! I am thankful for these steps forward.

3. My nephew. My mom and dad were able to visit Andy, Jessica, and George and I got to hear his cute cry and little snort on the phone. I love to hear about everything about him. I am thankful for my whole family and miss them all dearly.

4. 70 degree weather for 2 whole days.

5. A new book. I have started reading "In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan. It is good so far and I am learning so many things.

6. Milkshake treat. I mentioned earlier that we got milkshakes at the beach ... that didn't exclude me. I drank half a chocolate shake and kept my blood glucose under control! (Plus, they were from what used to be the Zany Zebra and is now the Falcon's Nest ... so many good memories.)

7. I met with the nutritionist at the Diabetes Care Center and now better understand how to control my blood glucose and to coordinate my exercise with insulin and such. It's such a fine balance and very frustrating that I can do everything perfectly and things can still go crazy due to things out of my control. (If those aren't the words of a control freak I don't know what are.)

8. Herbs! So I have been growing my own little herb garden from seeds, but Kirsten's awesome gardening dad generously brought me pots of full grown herbs transplanted from his garden. I am excited to use, care for, and plant these in my own garden soon.

9. No doctor's appointments this coming week! This is the first week in 2 months without a doctor's appointment and the last free week for quite a while. I'm going to enjoy it.

10. Beat the Bridge Day! Today we got up at 5, caught a bus at 6:30, grabbed coffee, and walked 4 miles to raise money for diabetes research. Many of you donated and participated in this event, this means more to me than you probably know. It means that one day I may not have to give myself shots or worry so much about long term complications or that one day parents won't have to do these things with their small children. On top of the awesome cause, it was a beautiful, fun day with over 10,000 people participating. Here are some highlights:

Thanks for reading.

xo, Meg

Happy Anniversary to Us!

**An anniversary gift from Kirsten and Kent. Made by the wonderful Skirst.

Today marks the 3rd anniversary of our wedding day, a great day, but not the best of my life. Each day has been better since then. There are so many things to be thankful about when I live every day with my best friend. Here are 5 things that stand out to me today:

1. Ryan helps me to do things I would never normally do. Like, say, talk to people. Or stand up for myself against those who think I'm invisible. Or feel good about myself. He has only changed me for the better. He's left all the core elements the same, but helped me smooth out some rough edges.

2. I have a great partner (in crime, often times). I don't really care for the word husband because it reminds me more of farming (you know, husbandry) than what he actually is, a partner. I could not ask for a better friend who treats me as an equal and respects me.

3. I was fortunate enough to know Ryan for a long time before we started dating/got hitched. It takes a lot for me to be comfortable with people and trust them, Ryan gave me the time. I'm a lucky girl, a lot of guys would have given up when I called them during a nap to take me to McDonalds or been frustrated by my incessant car singing and dancing, but not Ry.

4. Someone understands my sense of humor! I would consider myself fairly sarcastic, overly cheesy, and given to the occasional pun... most are probably annoyed by it, but Ryan laughs (almost always). I'm lucky.

5. Rollin' with my homies (and the punches). Ryan has taken everything in stride. It seems I have been a bad luck magnet for the last few years, but Ryan stands by me like Ben Franklin by his kite. There is this new thing in my life called Type 1 Diabetes, it's the reason I started this blog. It's also the reason that I break down in sobs, laugh hysterically or act strange when my blood sugars dip or soar ... and Ryan's right there reminding me to check my blood glucose and eat something.

I know we will continue rolling with the punches and laughing at the absurd and loving each other for years to come.

This picture was taken long before we started dating. Who would have guessed?

xo, Meg

Baby George! (Also known as: I am so excited to be an aunt!)

Today, I have one big thankful! All 8 pounds and a headful of hair worth of thankful.
Here are some pictures of the most handsome little boy (and his dad) in the world:

I cannot wait to see him and person and hear about all the amazing baby things he does along the way. Little George is already a strong guy, and I am so thankful for him. Congrats Andy and Jessica. Great job Jessica!

xo, Meg

The Mother's Day Edition

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms! I admire the hard work you do.

I am one of the lucky ones who happen to think that my parents are the bees knees and today is a day to acknowledge the greatness of the female half of the duo. Today's thankfuls are brought to you by my mom. Here are 5 wonderful things I am thankful for about my mom.

1. My first memory ever is of my mom. Although it also involves a needle being put into my belly, I remember my mom singing with me and holding my hand and petting my forehead. We screamed the ABCs and "Jesus Loves Me" together as the doctor put a million inch needle into my tummy. Thanks mom for always being there, even in my not-so-great memories.

2. My hair has also been the bane of my existence and my mom has always been a warrior on my side in the war against the beast. She worried when my hair started to develop a frizz spot in the back and took me to the salon to find out what was wrong with me. The diagnosis: curly hair brought on by puberty (and my dads genes). Thanks to my mom I have the courage to get up every morning and tame the mass on my head.

3. It may sound sad, but it isn't, most of my memories revolve around hospitals and such. My mom always made sure to be there when I went in and woke up. She also slept in uncomfortable chairs and held my hair when I puked. Even though she would trick me into doctor's appointments (don't worry, I forgive you mom) I remember only the sweet things she did. Like bring me my favorite foods or treat me to pizza after ever tricky doctor's appointment. Thanks mom for loving me enough to scrunch in chairs and watch me puke and trick me into medical procedures. It has probably helped my blood pressure in the long run.

4. My mom let my brothers rough house with me. She stepped in only when necessary, but let me be "tough" on my own. Although I was scared of my younger brothers, I was able to develop my signature "lay on your back and kick with all your might" move. It has made me a tougher person who wouldn't have a problem throwing a punch if it came right down to it. It's a philosophy that probably developed from growing up with 2 brothers of her own. Thanks mom for helping me be a little tougher.

5. I know that my mom loves me unconditionally and is proud of even my smallest achievements. That is the best feeling in the world. Thanks mom. I love you so big.

On a side note, on my run tonight (that's right, a run!) I realized that every piece of clothing that I own and like, was picked out and purchased by Ryan. I don't think I will ever go shopping again, I am going to let Ryan to all my shopping.

Night.

xo, Meg

Thankful by picture

Here are some pictures from last nights event. It was Kirsten's 25th, so we celebrated by dressing as our favorite old movie characters. I was Doris Day from "Please, Don't Eat the Daises" and Ryan was Desi Arnaz/The Godfather. These are my thankfuls for today:

xo, Meg

Tired...

Man, I'm wiped tonight. No reason in particular, just tired as a dog (and our dogs sleep about 16 hours a day).

So many reasons to be thankful today, I will try to narrow them down:

1. Kirsten's Birthday! Today was the 25th birthday of my dear friend Kirst. It was fun to help get things ready for her party tomorrow night and hang out with Diana who was flown up on Kent's private jet for Kirsten's bday. (Pictures to come of the awesome classic movie star costume party - I will Doris Day from "Please Don't Eat the Daisies"). I'm thankful Kirsten was born and that we get to celebrate with her.

2. I didn't have to fast. If you know me right now, you know I eat every 2 hours and get mighty cranky without food - so facing an evening, night, and morning of fasting did not sound pleasing to me. But they decided to push that part of the testing off for a few weeks, so.... yay!

3. A husband who is cute and nice and all over lovely! I will never stop being thankful for him.

4. Dreams. I have been having frequent, strange dreams lately. This means I am sleeping, which is awesome! Before I took up having diabetes I had troubles sleeping for very long, no longer my friends. I am thankful for the ease with which I fall asleep, dreams that I have, and pleasant feeling of restfulness I have in the morning. I hope this lasts.

5. An empty schedule next week. Save one doctor's appointment, final design meeting for our house and our anniversary (all on the same day) my week is wide open. I thankful I will have next week to catch up, rest, and do a million loads of laundry.

Thanks for all encouraging comments and emails. I love you all.

xo, Meg

Music Edition Tuesday

***Disclaimer: These are not necessarily my favorite songs, but songs that I am thankful for. I am thankful for these for different reasons, ex.: great workout songs, uplifting, etc.

1. "Hotel California" by the Eagles

Ok, this is one of my favorite songs of all time. Come on, it's great and you know it. Watch/listen here.

2. "There's Hope" by India Arie

A great, inspiring, hopeful song. Great to run to. Listen to it here.

3. "Extraordinary Machine" by Fiona Apple

Just so good. Here.

4. "Please Be Patient With Me" by Wilco

My plea with everyone in my life. Here ya go.

5. "A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left" by Andrew Bird

A rockin' guy and an awesome song. Ici mon ami.

xo, Meg

Meet my new friends (and enemies).

Seeing as I talk about my diabetes a lot on here, I thought I would introduce you to all the new things that have been introduced into my life since diagnosis. I have a love/hate relationship with each of the items on this list. I am on one hand thankful that they are helping me stay alive and on the other hand they all suck (at least I have 2 hands, right?) Mostly I am thankful for these things and the way they keep me alive each day.


Alright, let' get started with the introductions...

1. Meet my compact friend that I take out to eat a lot. I look like a giant nerd/dieting girl every time I whip out this nutritional guidebook in the market or at the dinner table. Next time you see me out, thumbing through this book looking for the best choice - please don't judge me. I'm not on a diet, well, not the losing weight kind.

While we are discussing books, let me introduce you to this beaut. Every time, blood reading, bolus (from Latin for ball, meaning to administer a medicine to raise it's concentration in the blood), every morsel that crosses my lips, and minute of physical activity is recorded in this journal to be examined thoroughly at my next appointment.

2. Here's one of those friends you have that you can only handle in certain amounts, but find yourself around way too often. The lancet. Actually, now that I think of it, this guy is more like one of those friends who isn't a friend at all, but the devil. I spend way too much time with this thing. A tiny gun that you load, cock, and shoot ... at yourself. They keep telling me I'll get used to it, but I don't think I will. I flinch every time I do it and sometimes I pull my finger away as I pull the trigger, rendering the moment useless. Oh, how I hate this device that keeps me alive.

Here is the evil lancet's wife, test strips. She is unassuming and sweet looking in her sleek little case, until you find out you can't have her without the aforementioned lancet. So, I don't really like to be around her either.

3. My friend the insulin pen. The scariest part of being diagnosed was the thought of giving myself shots. This is actually the easiest part. The recording, researching, planning, and finger pricks are way worse. Sometimes the needle finds a nerve and brings me to my knees, but most time we get along pretty well. After all, without that expensive, clear liquid in there I would not be writing this.

4. The meter. The LifeScan OneTouch UltraMini (wow, too many squished together words) to be more specific. While cute and colorful, these little guys like to party with Mr. Lancet and Mrs. Test Strips - so I don't like them either.

5. Skittles (or other sugar-stuffed goodies)! Sometimes I start to get sweaty, tremble-y, confused, nauseous, and (ask Ryan) a wee bit irritable. This is when I turn to my handy-dandy bunch of blood measuring friends and get a number in 5 seconds. In this case ... 63. Then I get to scarf down a pack of skittles, or fruit roll-up, or orange juice - weeee! It's no good to go low, but it's good to get a treat!

So now that you are all introduced, please don't get freaked out if you see us out in public, we are just trying to enjoy life. But if you are easily queased, please avert your eyes when Mr. Lancet comes out.

xo, Meg