Ryan and I have adopted the motto "it could be worse" over the past year as the "bad" events piled up. And life has continued to prove us right. I have a new motto ... "stop tempting fate with dumb mottoes."
I apologize in advance for how awfully ungrateful this post is going to be. Today I cannot find any events, items, or things to be thankful for. So instead I am going to tell you the things I am not thankful for.
1. Diabetes. Diabetes sucks. Really bad. Today I wanted to eat chocolate and drink a milkshake and follow it all up with fries, but the most fattening thing I could find was peanut butter. Boring and unsatisfying. Usually I can see this a growing experience that will help me be more empathetic toward my fellow humans, but today all I see are the bruises on my stomach and the cuts on my fingertips and the damn numbers that just won't stay stable. So, yes, maybe I will grow from this experience, but today I just want to focus on how bad it sucks.
2. My doctor broke her shoulder. Great. Now I can wait until August to have the best, most experienced surgeon in the area operate on me or settle for the 4th, 5th, or 6th best. Awesome. Really, it's not her fault - things happen. But really? Grr.
3. Dumb drivers. Lauren and I were almost smashed into oblivion by some moron in a truck and both of us stopped breathing for a while. Now my head hurts and my stomach hasn't stopped churning. On most days I would let this slide, knowing I have probably done things like that in the past. But today it pissed me off.
4. My mom left. Why do you have to be so far away? And dad, why can't you be here to get angry with me? I know you love me, please know I love you too. I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad in general.
5. Nausea. I would honestly rather barf my face off than feel nauseous, but today it has been non-stop nausea. Stress or anger induced I am sure. Kill me now.
It's too bad I chose to be angry today, it was such a beautiful day. Tomorrow I will try my hardest to choose positive thoughts and a caring attitude. Please forgive me for this negativity - it is definitely not something I plan on continuing.
Here's a picture of my happy place:
xo, Meg
PS- Once again, I'm sorry - but you didn't have to read it.
Love you.
ReplyDelete-Skirst
No, we didn't have to read it ... that is, unless we care about you. I'm so sorry that you had these scary/frustrating/disappointing experiences, piled on top of your other challenges. I'm praying ... for strength, help, wisdom, comfort, etc.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Adrienne